Shanti Douglas ~ 8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
Please Stay Connected!
  • Welcome
    • About Us
  • Business
  • Coaching
  • HeartMath
    • Creating Coherence with Heart
    • HeartMath for Kids
    • HeartMath Products
  • Mindfulness
  • Everyday Ease
  • Recordings
  • Resources
  • Peaceful Path Sangha
    • Dharma Links
  • Book Sale

The Second Agreement - Don’t Take Anything Personally

9/9/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Continuing on with our review and discussion of The Four Agreements, Don Miguel says that “personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’ ”. Given how much ‘me’ is central to our thought patterns, actions, and energy consumption, it’s natural for us to walk around thinking that others are as thought-provoked about us as we are. We see ourselves as central... why wouldn’t they?!? Talk about ego-centric humanity!! :)

Busting the Dream, people are mostly involved in thoughts of themselves - same as we are. It goes to follow, then, that rarely what another does or says is truly because of us. At the root is their own needs, wants, and desires - to support, serve, escape pain and suffering, control their circumstance, etc. We are all driven by a selfish nature of sorts, needed to survive and create our life as we wish it to be. In order to create our life, no matter what that looks like, we need to be in central focus.

When we take things personally, we agree with what the other person is saying. We give up our personal power to their views, to their experience, to how they see the world. When we take things personally, it’s an indication that another has triggered a self-doubt in us. If we truly didn’t believe, we wouldn’t pay attention.

For example, perhaps we’ve been working on being more open and sensitive to other’s views. If someone is curt with us and using defensive body language, our sensitivity may be triggered. Even though in reality this person just got out of a lousy meeting and was still perturbed, we take their tone and posture as something we generated. Our inability to be “open and sensitive” sparked this reaction in them. Its our fault. This is what we think - WRONG!

When we can be clear and solid within ourselves, this won’t happen. We’ll know it’s not us. We’ve been working hard and have awareness of ourselves, know that we’ve doing the right thing, making sure to check in with tone, phrasing, posture, etc. We can then let the engaged experience be as it is and not transfer another’s challenges to our psyche.

Stepping back and remembering that what another is doing or saying has nothing to do with us gives is the power to reframe our view of their actions. We can see that their unskillfulness is only an expression of their attempt to resolve their uncomfortableness. We are all unskillful at times, heated in the moment, or too frazzled to handle thing as we would prefer. Wouldn’t it be nice if the person on the receiving end didn’t take our moments of unskillfulness personally? We can offer the same thing and, in the process, help ourselves and our relationship with them.

This Second Agreement is a great reminder that we are in control of what impacts us. We can own our experiences. We are in charge.  Remember we are all mirrors... others are no different. Don’t take on their mirror. Don’t take it personally.

What are some of the ways that you take things personally?  Can you share situations that created suffering and that you’ve later discovered you interpreted completely wrong? How did this change you future view of situations?
 Feel free to leave comments here or follow this event on our Facebook business page.


Stay in Peace!
Shanti

Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach
Shanti@8limbsHolisticHealth.com
603.228.9007

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author - Shanti Douglas

    I hope you enjoy the sharing here. Please feel free to comment and share. Gratitude for taking the time to read and feel free to SUBSCRIBE by clicking "RSS Feed" below. Peace!!

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    December 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    November 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    8 Limbs Holistic Health
    Acceptance
    Change Management
    Community
    Daily Energy Routine
    Eden Energy Medicine
    Eyes
    Feeling
    Food Safety
    Four Agreements
    Fundies
    Genetically Modified Organism
    GMO
    Gratitude
    Habits
    Happiness
    Healing
    Healthy Living
    HeartMath
    Life Coaching
    Loving Kindness
    Masaru Emoto
    Meditation
    Mind
    Mindful Minute
    Mindfulness
    Neurolymphatic Reflex Points
    Optimize Coaching
    Peaceful Living
    Present Moment Awareness
    Resistance
    Restorative Circles
    Right View
    SAD Seasonal Affectice Disorder
    Self Love
    Shanti Douglas
    Sleep
    Stress Management
    Thich Nhat Hanh
    Transformation
    Triple Warmer Smoothie
    Try It On Tuesday
    YouTube

Shanti Douglas: Mindfulness, Optimize, & HeartMath® Certified Trainer and Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC         603.228.9007         Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
Photos used under Creative Commons from Todd Baker << technowannabe, kaibara87, Alois Staudacher, kevin dooley, r.nial.bradshaw, mayeesherr. (in West Bengal!), Virtual EyeSee, Sera Photography, Spirit-Fire, zaphad1, freestock.ca ♡ dare to share beauty, vintagefaerie, ▓▒░ TORLEY ░▒▓, lundyd, Koshyk, VIVOBAREFOOT, Dendroica cerulea, Maik Meid, striatic, Viri G, opensourceway, symphony of love, Daily Dose Of Champions