Blog - 8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC

Rising to Meet Right Now

11/7/2019

Our life is lived in the mundane. Over half of what we do every single day is out of habit, from brushing our teeth to putting on our shoes on to driving to work. Additionally, research has shown that 47% of the time we're not tuned in or present to what we're doing. Our mind is somewhere else… and usually not on a happy thing.

I find so often that we have this need and desire, this striving, for a sense of happiness and joy. With the complexity in speed of the world these days, it seems to be harder and harder to navigate the pathway to peace, ease, and contentment. We search outside of ourselves in multi-directions for that connection to the Source that’s going to have our light shine bright inside.

While we're busy looking for that joy and happiness outside, though, there are so many precious moments that are available to us in the simple things that we do every single day. We can miss many of the gifts that exist in the mundane.

We complain about our coworkers. We can't stand the slow driver in front of us. We may grunt inside when our kids or parents ask us to do one more thing. And that dinner we have to make? It can feel like a hassle to feed our family sometimes.

How beautiful all of these things are, though. Our coworkers help us manage the bigger workload, allowing us to keep our mission-focused energy. That slow driver in front of us… really helpful when there's a cop around the corner ready to give out a speeding ticket. Kids and parents… this is what we live for. They're so precious in our lives and we’d miss them dearly if they weren’t here. And super hooray yay that there's food in the house and that we can come together to eat and share a meal!

Much of how our day takes shape is determined by how we perceive it. Our view dictates how we see the world and engage with it. Sure, there's a lot in life that just needs to be done. We can say no to things, though, and that's fine (it might even be beneficial) but for those things that we say yes to, let’s say a resounding YES. Let’s say YES in our attitude, demeanor, tone of voice and language, actions and behavior. This is how true nobility and heroism happens with the details of our lives.

Peace and Love,
Shanti

Perhaps...

11/6/2019

There’s a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck”, they said sympathetically. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

The next morning, the horse returned, bringing with it a dozen other wild horses. “How wonderful”, exclaimed the neighbors. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbors came, offering sympathy on this misfortune. “Such bad luck." “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

The next day, military officials came to the village to draft all young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things have turned out. “How wonderful”, exclaimed the neighbors. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

What happenings are taking place in your life that, upon first inspection, might be such bad luck or, conversely, be wonderful? Are you attached to the outcomes of either one? How’s that playing out?

The moral of the story: we never know what goodness will come from a terrible situation and we never know how quickly a desired state will change. Perhaps staying steady with the flow of life, as it’s showing up moment to moment, can offer immense value. Instead of swinging between like and dislike (which can just get us all discombobulated), we can rest somewhere in the middle with a gentle smile and openness to what is. Like a tree, roots are grounded and deep while at the same time being flexible enough to shift and sway with the ever-changing winds of life.

Peace and Love,
Shanti

Life... Happening Right Now

11/6/2019

This past weekend I attended a Celebration of Life of a friend who passed way too soon. A young mother - 42 - leaving a beloved husband and 6 year old son. Cancer got her… but not the best of her.

This courageous woman lived… lived each day with ferocity, devotion, vitality, hopefulness, inspiration, and joyfulness for everything that was in her life, even the years of complicated and intensive treatments. She turned each one into a gift, a learning moment, a reflection of the value and intensity of life. To the very end, there was joy, singing, laughter, and love.

Unfortunately this was actually the second such unfathomable death this year. In early winter, another dear friend - a young mother of a 5 year old son - died after a long battle with cancer. Annie was a constant beam of Light and Love with the biggest smile you could ever imagine and an infectious energy of joy and peace.

As a mother of 3 boys, my heart rips wide open to these young sons. It boggles my mind what they’ve already been through… even before beginning first grade. What will their life be like without their mother? How will this carry them forward? Blessed for the time they had… gifts of presence and such deep immeasurable Momma love. They are their continuation.

Death is a strange thing. I don’t quite understand it. There’s such a hole in space and time that remains after the beloved passes, a gap waiting to be filled, a curious question mark as you wait their arrival yet again. And in the meantime, life all around continues and moves on, as if not much has changed. It is very strange indeed.

All of this causes me to pause and look deeper, thinking of my own inevitable passing. What’s it going to be like for me? How will I be remembered? What have I done to leave a good mark? How have I touched others' lives, enough for them to carry me along with them for the rest of their lives?

I’m not sharing any of this to be bleak or to extend the loss. I think it’s really important, though, to investigate the meaning and value of our lives as they're happening, to not wait until a dear one passes or tragedy strikes in another way. Each day is a gift, another opportunity to create with purpose and intention. Life gets busy and it can be easy to forget this as we’re task mastering... but what’s the purpose behind it all? Why, exactly, are we rushing from one thing to another?

Death is an important part of life and one that we’ll all experience. How can we use that for fuel to live each day with vitality and presence, to touch in our hearts what’s really important, and to show up valuing each and every moment?

One of the daily practices I have is morning reflection - how do I want to show up today, what qualities of character do I want to nourish, how can I stay clear and balanced to meet my moments with heart-filled presence? This helps me set the stage for the day. I inevitably forget along the way, though, especially as some days take on a life of their own. It’s all a practice.

And at the end of each day, a reflection on how I showed up, how I can up-spiral tomorrow, bringing kindness and self-compassion to my heart knowing I did my best, even if the circumstances were cruddy and I wasn’t my optimal self.

The invitation then is to take in the importance of who and how you are, to know that you make a significant difference in this world, that you matter deeply, and that you have immense love and wonder to bring to those around you - both the know and unknown.

It’s the texture and quality of our lives that matter, not just in the end, but in each step in the middle. Many blessings to you.

Peace and Love to you,
Shanti

Good Aim

9/23/2019

In early early 1990s, the cleaning staff of Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam installed a small sticker that looked like a fly near the center of each urinal. Apparently, when men stepped up to the urinals, the aimed for what they thought was a bug. The stickers improved their aim and significantly reduced “spillage” around the urinals. Further analysis determined that the stickers cut bathroom cleaning costs by 8% per year.*

The lesson?

Besides all of us mothers buying fake fly stickers, one way to easily improve your success rate of installing a new habit is by setting up a supportive environment. Create obvious cues that keep you on track and make it easy to do the right thing.

~ Want to reduce junk food consumption? Along with not purchasing the junk food, have clean fruits and veggies prepared and readily available on the counter and coffee table.
~ Want to drink more water? Fill up a few water bottles each morning and put them in places where you spend lots of time.
~ Want to remember to read before bed instead of TV? Put your book on your pillow in the morning.
~ Want to move your body through the day? Set a repeat-timer on your phone.

What healthy habit would you like to install? Share with me here and join the upcoming Habits Made Easy workshop to see what you can easily, and in a fun way, switch up in your life. We all have habits. Which ones would you like working for you?

Peace and Love,
Shanti
*from James Clear, Atomic Habits

Keeping the System Going

9/16/2019

Yeah! The kids are back to school and a new routine has begun. It feels refreshing to get organized after the meandering days of summer… at least I love it. It’s like a reset button has been pushed.

What are some of your strategies? How do you develop habits that are going to last more than a few weeks, that will carry yourself and your family easily into next year and beyond?

At home, some things you might be looking at:

Having easier mornings - YES please
Keeping up with preparing healthy meals and snacks
Study skills that your kids will do on their own (or at least with less whining)
Exercise and keeping the body moving
Finances - seem to always top of mind
Quality time for relationships

At work, some things you might be looking at:

Reducing time wasters that slow-drip your energy and focus
Feeling more accomplished and less “spent” at the end of the day
Taking breaks so your body and brain can refresh
Dealing with email overload
Slowing down to listen to people instead of rushing the conversation along to get to the next thing
Having patience be a continual part of your day

If you’re human, after a few weeks of staying on point, things inevitably seem to slip back to the same old thing. Life gets interrupted and you’ve exhausted the energy of trying to keep the new habit alive… its too much work and willpower is spent. It’s easy to get frustrated when you give up, to go back to the same old thing even if it wasn’t working that well. And then you end up feeling bad because you let yourself down againand didn’t keep the change. What a crappy cycle.

I want to encourage you and let you know, though, that it’s not you. It’s the systems that are in place.

Habits Made Easy is a new favorite workshop I’m offering, one that’s good for you and good for your kids/teens (they’re encouraged to attend. What a great way to have them get active in developing personal management strategies.)

Habits Made Easy keeps things in balance, reduces stress, adds ease, reduces resistance, guilt, and shame, improves esteem and confidence, and builds self-efficacy. Sounds pretty great to me!

Check it out. It's happening twice at the end of the month - plenty of time to plan and get it one on your calendar. Registration is needed and easy HERE.
Peace and Love,
Shanti

And by the way, Habits Made Easy isn’t an app or a set system per se. It’s the name of my workshop... one where you learn the process of how habits are built, how they crash and fail, and how to install new ones that are truly functional for everyday living.

Declutter Starts With The Mind

9/4/2019

A change of season always brings me the energy of clearing out; a time to declutter and make room for something new and different, something that will keep me inspired and motivated for the changes ahead. Whether the focus is home projects, business projects, relationships, or mindset, it requires my time and attention to pick up, look at, and decide what’s important now. My energy and resources are finite so I want to be as efficient as possible while still having impact.

As of late, I've been noticing more of my time and attention feels stuck in the minutia of what could stand to be decluttered instead of what might be best to focus on. Instead of taking the big pile and putting it to the side, I keep sifting through it in hopes of getting rid of it. Haha that’s a joke since I know the project list is never ending. It’s so interesting how the habit mind works.

Some days there can be a fine line between what needs to get done, what's best to get done, what I want to do, and what I just want to be done with. The request list seems really long and my decisive mind can get lost in the possibilities, leading me to feel ineffectual and frustrated, spread thin as I'm being pulled in several directions... or rather, pulling myself in many directions. I'm the one "in control", you see.

Reflecting, I think it's all just part of the cleansing process since most of the things seem to be related. Some days, though, I wish the pull of my mind were less and easier to deal with. It’s a practice… and a habit I continue to refine and develop.

Thankfully, part of that refinement comes from my meditation practice, a daily routine that works to keep me centered and grounded, much more than I could ever possibly do on my own with my natural energy constitution of flittering about. Setting the stage and getting clear in the morning guides my intentions and the path I want to take. It's a time to check in with my heart and authentic desires: How do I want to be today? What's the best use of my energy? Do I need to reset my mind/attitude? What self-care is needed?

Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to declutter, gain clarity, and keep the focus on WIN - what’s important now. It's not always easy to tame the flittering mind that pulls you in many different directions - impulses can be very strong - so it's good to have some stabilizing supports to help navigate today.

How’s your decluttering routine? What do you do to keep the ground underneath your feet as you're moving in so many directions? I'd love to hear what's working well. And if you have any interest in learning more about mindfulness or meditation, reach out or check out the upcoming class.

And next time I’ll share a bit about how to install skillful habits as you go through the seasonal change process, setting yourself up for success right off the bat. In the meantime, happy cleansing!

Peace and Love to you,
Shanti

Can You Feel It.... whaaaaa

8/28/2019

Can you feel it? The change. It's begun (although this week seems to have flopped back).

I'm already feeling a desire to cozy up on the couch with a good book, let myself linger in bed in the morning, and cook a big pot of veggie stew. Two of the maple trees at the park are turning (pics above) and jeans aren't too far away.

I love this time of year but I'm also pausing in a big way because WHERE’D THE SUMMER GO?!? I feel like I'm just getting started. Two of my boys were reflecting on this as well… now that they're “adulting” (ages 19 and 24), they wonder where the carefree time of summer went.

While this is summer hasn't been filled with big exciting trips or outrageously memorable events (you could say it was the summer of dabbling), it has nevertheless been fulfilling… at least balanced… which is the approach that's becoming more and more important in my life. With my business schedule keeping me busy, if I don't purposefully block time to rest, it all seems to fall apart and I'm not my best self. I'm sure you can relate to overextending yourself then crashing. Before you know it, you're burnt out and good to no one. See my book Everyday Ease: Mindfully Moving From Burnout To Balance for my experience with burnout and why I won't go back there again.

Some of the daily things I do that keep my pendulum from swinging too far in either direction:

Morning meditation and quiet time on the porch
My commitment to my bike riding goal (718 miles down, 282 to go) = 11.5 miles on an average day
Getting up every 32 minutes for a body or breath break
Napping 16 to 22 minutes a few times a week (becoming one of my favorites)
Long lunch/early dinner as a one hour break late in the afternoon
Earth breaks - laying on the grass with Suki and chillaxing
In bed by 9:30, often 9:15
Connecting with a friend to chat and share my humanity

How do you keep your balance going? Share with me what works for you.

Embracing transitions isn’t always easy but it's made much easier by sticking with the foundations that support you. With the change of season, school starting, and life seeming to pick up the pace even more, it's imminently important to purposefully design your day so you can maintain your energy and focus on what you really want.
And on that note, check out the list of upcoming classes and workshops (I think you'll find Habits Made Easy particularly applicable). Fall is going to be pretty exciting. I hope to see many of you soon!

Peace and Love,
Shanti

80 Times a Day... Really?

7/11/2019

If you began to install a mini habit after the Wonder & Wisdom shared two weeks ago, how's that going? I'd love to hear from you! Have you found that the smallness of the change helped it to stick? The research is clear that incorporating mini habits are much more effective in creating lasting change than big evolutionary ones. One baby step at a time with 100% commitment. This is how you get to be fail-proof… because it’s so small it’s completely doable, even when life has it's own plans for your day.

I was speaking with a local organization yesterday about habits and the shiny objectsthat really get in the way of their energy, productivity, and presence. Can you guess what the #1 thing was? You and your loved ones might be experiencing it (including the little ones). I’ll give you some hints. It starts with “i”, is meant to connect you but in reality primarily disconnects you… from your “I” and everyone else.

You guessed it…. iPhone (used here to represent cell phones in general).

Take a peak at your phone habit. How many times a day do you check it or pick it up to see what's new or what you might be missing out on? If you’re the average person (which I know you’re not), it can be 80 times a day = every 12 minutes. Really? Wow!

Maybe you’re not in the 80 per day category but do a little experiment and start keeping track so you know your truth. Even if it isn’t that high, I’m sure you’ve felt the panic and pang of “where is it!?” when you misplaced it. What's going on there?

And what does all that digital checking in do? Messes up your brain, creates unwanted addictions, gets you lost when maybe you really just wanted to be on track, adds to eye and neck strain, damages hearing, and separates you from life as it’s actually happening around you. Yes, I’m sure you’re already aware of this… but where’s your positioning power regarding these harmful effects? Who is mastering who? (or is it "whom is mastering whom?"... I was never good at that.)

One of the huge impacts digital technology has is on sleep. The blue light in electronic devices (phone, iPads, Kindle, TV, laptop) interferes with the natural production of melatonin, a hormone that’s needed for the onset and regulation of sleep. When melatonin levels are off, you have a harder time getting to sleep and really don’t sleep as well. As I’ll share in a future Wonder & Wisdom, sleep is VITAL to a healthy life. (Ugly fact: one method of torture is to not allow people to sleep.)

So let’s combine three things: creating a mini habit for health, reducing our addiction to all things electronic (especially phone), and getting better sleep.

This can come in the form of a digital sunset, i.e. a set bedtime for the electronics, say 7:00pm for starters. Just like you tuck your kids in bed, kiss them goodnight, and let them go to sleep so you can have delicious “me” time, the same thing can happen with your electronics (although pretty weird to be kissing it to sleep).

For the phone, shut it off and put it in a drawer… or in the safe on a shelf in the corner closet behind all the winter coats, offering you plenty of time to reflect “What’s SO important for me to be digging through this stuff to get to that?!?”. For the non-phone items, you get the idea. Put them away, shut them off, and turn to something that’s fun, calming, positive, uplifting, relaxing, and a transition from the regular go-go-go brain waves that creates never-ending, low-grade agitation.

You need a break. They need a break. Have only organic energy drive your transition from the busy day to a peaceful pause and a good night's rest.

Peace and Love,
Shanti

Want a Fail-Proof Habit?

7/1/2019

Living a life more self-actualized and one that's more closely aligned with my heart-desired version of Self requires that I let go of that which no longer serves me and add that which offers great benefits and value. I see this up-leveling as a constant evolution - no end in sight - which helps me detach from things needing to be a certain way right now. Life is going to shift and change on me anyways - I can't help that - so staying flexible while remaining focused on +1 improvements keeps me on the right path. And, of course, self acceptance and love come along for the ride.

Change is constant… but not constantly easy. We get really excited in the beginning and spend lots of time, attention, and energy on burning the new shift into our routine… but somewhere along the way the excitement fades and we return to our old set-point. Who can blame us? It takes a lot of energy to keep excitement going and, at some point, we just fizzle out. It's not for lack of effort… but it is mistaken effort.

Instead of powerhousing it in the beginning, how about spreading the energy and diligence of effort over a stretch. Instead of committing to climbing a mountain, how about committing to taking one step on the journey of that mountain, one step every day. Just one.

Sure, it'll take you longer to get to the top but you'll actually get there!! And you'll feel energize and accomplished all along the way. Mountain climbed!

So look around and make note of a change you’d like to make. Then break it down into such a small habit that you can't call possibly fail. Install this new addition and do it, daily, without fail. One step = lifelong habit forming.

Need an example? You commit to running one mile every day. Awesome… but there'll be days when it probably won't happen (weather, schedule, being tired). But you can easily commit to running the length of your 10 foot driveway no matter what else is happening in your life. Every day, 10 feet. Woohoo!

And while you're there, you'll probably run more than the 10 feet (that's like you) so way to go in doing even more! But if you only did 10 feet, that's fantastic! You kept your commitment to self and you met your goal, no matter what. This is how we achieve great things and self actualize our plan.

So what will you install as a mini habit?

Go change! You can do this! And reach out if you need a little bit of guidance or refinement.

Peace and Love,
Shanti

Who Are Our Mothers?

5/10/2019

Mother's Day is a day when we celebrate the mothers in our lives. We make time for a visit, shared meal, gifts from the heart, or a call to connect. For some, our mothers are still alive and able to receive these expressions of appreciation. For others, mothers have passed into the realm of beyond. Either way, we give tribute to those that gave birth to us (even if it wasn't a physical birth), those that were an integral part of our foundation and who we are today.

I invite you to go a little further than your biological or relational mother, however, connecting to your long lineage of mothers. Grandmothers, great-grandmothers, great great-grandmothers,… all the way back in time. How do they contribute to who and how are you are today? What gifts of wisdom, diligence, fortitude, fear, and joy did they pass onto you? What’s their continuation in you?

While it may not be obvious in your everyday moments and movements how these women contributed to your Being, they are there, taking each breath along with you. They show up in your smile, in your walk, in the way you don't give up when pushed into a corner. They are part of your intuitive sense of knowing went to take risky action and when to walk away. There are huge part of your never giving-up-attitude since, OMG, the things they went through and the resiliency for life they had to develop to survive!

They are all parts of you – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.

This Sunday, celebrate the fullness of all of your mother-ancestors by celebrating yourself. Even if you've never birthed anyone, you've certainly been a mentor and mother to someone (even if only your pet) so count yourself in in the great lineage of nourisher's, caregivers, and life givers. See their reflection in your smile, walk, and fortitude of being. Be proud to carry their energy and vibrancy forward by loving your self and your life deeply. This continuation is the real celebration of Mother's Day.

Lots of Peace and Love to you,
Shanti