But before we stop before we even get started, we need to take some time to look at the feeling sense we are trying to harness with our resolution. Most of the time, resolutions look like external to-do lists. Think about SMART goals; specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. "I want to lose 10 pounds by January 31 by going to the gym 4 times a week for 1 hour and eating only whole foods." While this goal is defined, there's a lack of enthusiasm or passion behind it.
We create most goals because we imagine a feeling we'll have when we reach them; sexy, accomplished, capable, strong, etc. To me that's a carrot on a stick. It means we have to work really hard in the hopes of getting a good feeling. We don't have it now while we are working on it and that makes it tough. Here, happiness is a future event. No wonder why so many of us give up so quickly... doubly so since we have been trained to expect immediate gratification. :)
Instead of this old carrot and stick, what if we evoked, in this very moment, the feeling sense we wanted our resolution to give us? Our mind is our most powerful portal for change so, instead of looking ahead for things to make us feel sexy, accomplished, capable, bring that feeling sense into our aliveness right now. Connect with however the body and mind experiences the desired feeling and emote it. We need to create this "as if" energy so that our attention will be focused, directed, and in alignment with our resolution.
Of course, all of this requires us to look at the deeper essence of why we are looking to invoke change, what our real motivations and desires are. What is the feeling sense at the root of our resolution? Are we losing weight to be healthy and fit into our clothes or can it be to feel such freedom and aliveness that every step we take could be a dance of joy?
With some healthy reflection and soul-searching, when we get clear and remain focused on our root desires, life will fall into place to gratify us more easily. The authentic force behind our energy is powerful and attracts circumstances and situations to support our desired feeling state. A feeling is much stronger than a thought. With our Heart driving us forward, not our head, our success rate will be much greater - and much more pleasurable.
All of this is wonderful and, as 2014 begins, I'm taking more time to explore this on a deeper level and really harness my core desired feelings. As my beginning, I'm switching from doing what I need to do to doing what I want to do. Too often lately I've heard myself saying "I have to" or "I should" (one of the worst words ever!!). I never noticed how potent those words were in my self-talk but it makes sense as to why some days or moments aren't fulfilling, why there's still a sense of searching even after I've accomplished a lot, or why an undertone of tension sometimes exists. How much of your life do you spend doing what you think you should, bypassing what you'd really like to do and which would make you happy?
In honoring myself and the gift of my life, I want my actions to reflect my inner desires and motivations, not living by the to-do list of obligations or self-inflicted guilts. My heart needs to sing with what I do, to make best use of my time here, and to share my sense of joy and feeling good.
It's all a work in progress. Today is a new day. Today is a new year. I hope you'll join me in looking at what truly makes you sing, living from a place where your core desired feelings are paramount in everything that you do.
Peace and Many, Many Blessings!!
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach
As always, I’d love your feedback, comments, and insights on what has been shared. Feel free to give me a shout or leave a message!!