Usually our words are a means to an end - trying to get something we need, reorganizing perception, influencing another, etc. Our need to control our circumstance (and thus those around us), to blame, shame, judge, or label, are all exhibited with words. Master Manipulators, those that twist everything into something different for their own benefit, are experts at word misuse and abuse. Creating chaos, confusion, and separation are easy for them. And I’m not just talking in your local neighborly relations... look at government entities around the world.
On a more essential level, though, Don Miguel is asking us to look deeply at ourselves and to realize that our essence is mirrored in our communication. How much we love or hate ourselves, our intention of Self, is reflected back when we interact with others. Impeccability is taking responsibility for our actions and understanding that it is not simply words or a message that we are conveying when we speak, but who we are, at least in that moment. Impeccability is knowing, with action, that what we put out is a direct inner reflection.
If I call you ugly, while your feelings may be hurt with those words, I am actually hurting myself even more because I am infused with the negative energy of the negative words. My body and brain feel twisted, consumed by ugliness, spite, hatred, despise. My words reflect me. Likewise, if I tell you that you are beautiful, I am infusing the energy of that beauty. It feels good. I feel good. I feel light, warm, joyful, and fresh.
Take a moment to reflect on how you feel when expressing yourself negatively and positively. Do you notice a direct relationship to who and how you are in that moment?
As for the person on the receiving end of our communication, it is up to them to be impacted, to take our words as truth. We only have an impact if they take our word as truth and allow that impact to happen. If they love themselves and think they are beautiful, you calling them ugly will do no harm. They know it’s not true so will not be impacted by your words. It’s important to take responsibility for what we believe and to decide whether there is truth and core honesty in our belief systems. If what we see doesn't work, it’s up to us to start believing new things that support us and make us feel whole.
Being impeccable with words is the correct use of your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. If we love ourselves, why speak words that create suffering or disharmony? And why take on someone else’s poison by listening and believing what they have to say about us? Do we really think that others know us better than ourselves? Do we value what others have to say more than we value ourselves?
Self-love is the basis for happiness anywhere in the world. If we can not love ourselves, we can love no other. We must respect and nurture the wonderful Being that we are, wherever we are on our Path. Make your life judgment-less, starting with your own mirror.
Much Peace and Gratitude,
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach