As a holistic practitioner, I am graced to work with lots of folks in their self discovery and personal growth journey. Along the way, a common feeling of dissatisfaction arises that change and progress aren't happening fast enough. With that often comes an associative list of should's..."I should be further along", "My life should look like XYZ right now", "This should/shouldn't be happening to me." As the chatter of should's continue, self doubt expands, seeping into and eroding the soil of confidence. Too much micro-analysis of the moment hardens the fertile ground required for joyous growth and, if we spend too much time here, the perception of our progress reflects this uncertainty. "I knew I wasn't good/worthy/valuable enough" is a frequent mindset visitor.
But none of this is true. Change takes time. We didn't get here overnight and we certainly aren't going to change overnight. Because our desire for personal growth is so high (and perhaps a bit of wanting it now), we're looking very closely at each moment, searching for signs that we are moving in the right direction...for validation. While each now moment is the moment of future creation, like too much sun, too much oversight can be devastating.
Think of yourself as a flower. Buried underneath the earth for a lengthy cold winter, you finally feel enough warmth and comfort to break the barrier of soil that's been your home for too long. As your little green stem pops above ground, there's a shyness about you. "Is it safe to come out? Will the sun greet me and help me grow or will I be left exposed in the cold air and rain? What's out here anyway? It's all new and, while I know I want to open my colorful blooms wide to the sky, I'm not sure how to do that. I'm a bit nervous about how this transformation actually takes place. Is it the same as the daffodil I see over there...or the shrub that looks like it's done this dozens of times before?"
A flower doesn't bloom when we tug and pull at it's stem and it doesn't compare itself to any other flower. It needs it's own time and conditions to flourish...the right balance of water, light, soil, and attention. We get impatient and forget that, while day to day we may look the same, tiny changes are happening. It is challenging to appreciate the little spurts of growth with such a micro view so, as you move forward, look back. Reflect how things were 6-9 months ago. Does that change your view of right now? Recognizing that things fall into place over time, can you let that knowledge create trust in your progress?
Forget the infinite details of this moment. Simply stay present to your experience with wonderful and grounded intention and allow your flower to bloom with gentleness, grace, peace, and lots of love.
With many blessings for peaceful days,
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach