Shanti Douglas ~ 8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC
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What do you really need?

11/26/2019

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As I was laying on the floor with my dog Suki the other day, I was looking around at all the stuff in the room. First of all, it's really cool to get a dog’s perspective on life and second, it's pretty interesting what we humans collect.
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Seven and a half years ago I had a fire in my house and lost nearly everything. After rebuilding,  I came back into the house with very few things, determined to keep the space clean and clear. I had been decluttering as the boys had been getting older but it still amazed me how much stuff I had. 

I don't think I have a ton of stuff now but I do notice that it has begun to fill up. There are duplications of many things and other items that I’ve rarely used. How many sets of sheets, hiking boots, jackets, pots and pans, coffee maker pots, or candles do I really need? The initial desire and craving to want something or the awesome feeling that comes with “I scored a great deal!” is great but really, what am I doing with it all? Where’s the value? 

“Stuff” can be a lot to take care of, to keep clean, to keep track of. It can really weigh you down after a while and have the space feeling pretty heavy. Is this why we don’t like to clean the house? And while there may be a sense of being full, too much can also lead to a feeling of emptiness. 

In our consumerism world, we’ve been taught that “things” can make us happy, give us comfort, have us feeling safe and secure. All you have to do is watch a TV ad to dissect the not-so-subliminal messages. Even our brain helps this along as we get a little hit of dopamine every time we click the Buy Now button.

Underneath it all, though, when we truly look, we know that things don’t matter in the scheme of life. No one on their death bed ever wished they spent more time shopping and collecting things. It’s people, relationships, heart-felt connections, and experiences that fill us up. Research shows this as well: nearly 70% of us would prefer a gift of connected experience over a material item (great food for thought as we navigate the “giving month”.)

As I near the time when I don't want to be working as much, it begs me to be more intelligent about what I do with my money resources now and to have my personal financial investments be less diversified into the Stuff and Don’t-Really-Need portion of my portfolio which truly hasn’t given a high return on investment.

Over the next few months, I'm going to be more aware and particular about this resource, making note of the essentials versus the disposable, how I share it with other practitioners, and whether they’re local (Small Business Saturday 11/30) or far away (big box shops). I’m sure this’ll create some amusement as we're heading into the holiday purchasing season and I'm secretly grateful that I don't go ballistic with presents like I used to. That's a saving grace.

A practice might be to put things in the Checkout cart but not hit the Buy Now button for a few days, until the dopamine hit has passed and I can re-assess. Another practice might be to purchase only essentials and what's on the shopping list... which will mean cutting chips and chocolate out of my grab-and-go habit (that will certainly save a lot in many areas of my life). And perhaps not buy a book for at least three months. This would certainly test me for sure! I am a book-aholic, after all. Maybe just use what I have to the fullest and go from there.

So, lots of things to mull over… what to do with the extras and any clutter, how to prevent “the fill” from growing, how to enjoy life without the necessity of so many things, and finding spaciousness in simplicity. Yay! What a treat it is to experiment and play with habits of being. 
Peace,
Shanti

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Rising to Meet Right Now

11/7/2019

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Our life is lived in the mundane. Over half of what we do every single day is out of habit, from brushing our teeth to putting on our shoes on to driving to work. Additionally, research has shown that 47% of the time we're not tuned in or present to what we're doing. Our mind is somewhere else… and usually not on a happy thing.
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I find so often that we have this need and desire, this striving, for a sense of happiness and joy. With the complexity in speed of the world these days, it seems to be harder and harder to navigate the pathway to peace, ease, and contentment. We search outside of ourselves in multi-directions for that connection to the Source that’s going to have our light shine bright inside.

While we're busy looking for that joy and happiness outside, though, there are so many precious moments that are available to us in the simple things that we do every single day. We can miss many of the gifts that exist in the mundane.

We complain about our coworkers. We can't stand the slow driver in front of us. We may grunt inside when our kids or parents ask us to do one more thing. And that dinner we have to make? It can feel like a hassle to feed our family sometimes.

How beautiful all of these things are, though. Our coworkers help us manage the bigger workload, allowing us to keep our mission-focused energy. That slow driver in front of us… really helpful when there's a cop around the corner ready to give out a speeding ticket. Kids and parents… this is what we live for. They're so precious in our lives and we’d miss them dearly if they weren’t here. And super hooray yay that there's food in the house and that we can come together to eat and share a meal!

Much of how our day takes shape is determined by how we perceive it. Our view dictates how we see the world and engage with it. Sure, there's a lot in life that just needs to be done. We can say no to things, though, and that's fine (it might even be beneficial) but for those things that we say yes to, let’s say a resounding YES. Let’s say YES in our attitude, demeanor, tone of voice and language, actions and behavior. This is how true nobility and heroism happens with the details of our lives.

Peace and Love,
Shanti

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Perhaps...

11/6/2019

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There’s a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck”, they said sympathetically. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

The next morning, the horse returned, bringing with it a dozen other wild horses. “How wonderful”, exclaimed the neighbors. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied. 

The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg. The neighbors came, offering sympathy on this misfortune. “Such bad luck." “Perhaps”, the farmer replied.

The next day, military officials came to the village to draft all young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things have turned out. “How wonderful”, exclaimed the neighbors. “Perhaps”, the farmer replied. 
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What happenings are taking place in your life that, upon first inspection, might be such bad luck or, conversely, be wonderful? Are you attached to the outcomes of either one? How’s that playing out?

The moral of the story: we never know what goodness will come from a terrible situation and we never know how quickly a desired state will change. Perhaps staying steady with the flow of life, as it’s showing up moment to moment, can offer immense value. Instead of swinging between like and dislike (which can just get us all discombobulated), we can rest somewhere in the middle with a gentle smile and openness to what is. Like a tree, roots are grounded and deep while at the same time being flexible enough to shift and sway with the ever-changing winds of life. 

Peace and Love,
Shanti

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Life... Happening Right Now

11/6/2019

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This past weekend I attended a Celebration of Life of a friend who passed way too soon. A young mother - 42 - leaving a beloved husband and 6 year old son. Cancer got her… but not the best of her.

This courageous woman lived… lived each day with ferocity, devotion, vitality, hopefulness, inspiration, and joyfulness for everything that was in her life, even the years of complicated and intensive treatments. She turned each one into a gift, a learning moment, a reflection of the value and intensity of life. To the very end, there was joy, singing, laughter, and love.

Unfortunately this was actually the second such unfathomable death this year. In early winter, another dear friend - a young mother of a 5 year old son - died after a long battle with cancer. Annie was a constant beam of Light and Love with the biggest smile you could ever imagine and an infectious energy of joy and peace.

As a mother of 3 boys, my heart rips wide open to these young sons. It boggles my mind what they’ve already been through… even before beginning first grade. What will their life be like without their mother? How will this carry them forward? Blessed for the time they had… gifts of presence and such deep immeasurable Momma love. They are their continuation.

Death is a strange thing. I don’t quite understand it. There’s such a hole in space and time that remains after the beloved passes, a gap waiting to be filled, a curious question mark as you wait their arrival yet again. And in the meantime, life all around continues and moves on, as if not much has changed. It is very strange indeed.

All of this causes me to pause and look deeper, thinking of my own inevitable passing. What’s it going to be like for me? How will I be remembered? What have I done to leave a good mark? How have I touched others' lives, enough for them to carry me along with them for the rest of their lives? 

I’m not sharing any of this to be bleak or to extend the loss. I think it’s really important, though, to investigate the meaning and value of our lives as they're happening, to not wait until a dear one passes or tragedy strikes in another way. Each day is a gift, another opportunity to create with purpose and intention. Life gets busy and it can be easy to forget this as we’re task mastering... but what’s the purpose behind it all? Why, exactly, are we rushing from one thing to another?

Death is an important part of life and one that we’ll all experience. How can we use that for fuel to live each day with vitality and presence, to touch in our hearts what’s really important, and to show up valuing each and every moment? 

One of the daily practices I have is morning reflection - how do I want to show up today, what qualities of character do I want to nourish, how can I stay clear and balanced to meet my moments with heart-filled presence? This helps me set the stage for the day. I inevitably forget along the way, though, especially as some days take on a life of their own. It’s all a practice.

And at the end of each day, a reflection on how I showed up, how I can up-spiral tomorrow, bringing kindness and self-compassion to my heart knowing I did my best, even if the circumstances were cruddy and I wasn’t my optimal self.

The invitation then is to take in the importance of who and how you are, to know that you make a significant difference in this world, that you matter deeply, and that you have immense love and wonder to bring to those around you - both the know and unknown.

It’s the texture and quality of our lives that matter, not just in the end, but in each step in the middle. Many blessings to you.

Peace and Love to you,
Shanti


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Shanti Douglas: Mindfulness, Optimize, & HeartMath® Certified Trainer and Coach
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC         603.228.9007         Shanti@8limbsholistichealth.com
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