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15 Ways to Keep Those Goals Intact

5/26/2018

We all have goals that we're trying to achieve (especially on Mondays). Depending on the day, it could be as complex as scoping out a system change within your organization or something simpler like how to tackle the housework and still get to the beach. Regardless of how tough your goals are, for a variety of reasons, we oftentimes lose the energy or focus to continue engaging with them.

Recently I spoke to a large organization about sticking with their goals, supporting them in making the best use of their time and energy. Knowing that you're a power person and always doing something, I thought to share 15 of my favorite points with you in the hopes that they keep you inspired and on track.

Have your dreams and desires come from your heart, not your head. Both places are powerful but your heart contains clarity.
Never believe negativity from others. It's your one life, not theirs.
FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real. Those gremlins seem pretty real sometimes but, underneath, they're just stuff we make up to keep us comfortable. Don't believe most of what you think, unless it empowers you forward with a smile on your face. Play with getting out of comfort.
STEP your way to success. Single Task Enhances Progress.
Do something every day towards your goal. Even 10 minutes counts.
Write goals out in the present tense and read them aloud daily = 95% success rate.
Stick with your "Why"... and feel it... daily. Make it part of who you are so there's nothing in you that doubts what you're doing.
When you wake up from your forgetfulness, start again from where you are with no judgment or criticism.
Take periodic breaks to replenish your energies instead of steaming ahead and during yourself out. Just like a car being driven across country, you've got to stop to refuel and let the engine cool off before you go any further.
No path is linear. Appreciate the bumps and side trips. Keep moving.
Tap into experts, those who've traveled before you. Learn from their mistakes. They're usually always happy to share.
Stay excited, get support, and share your goals and your plan with others. This will help to keep you accountable (and I'm happy to do that for you gratis).
Celebrate your successes daily, at minimum weekly.
Whatever your heart is seeking, honor that. Even if it's the weirdest thing ever, if it keeps showing up, it's a call from destiny.
Trust yourself and the Universe to support you.

Want more for yourself or a training designed specifically for your organization? Send me a quick note and let's talk.

Peace,
Shanti

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Honey, Can We talk?

5/3/2018

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Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship but sometimes it's the hardest thing to do, especially when the days are filled with busyness going in many divergent directions. It's a miracle sometimes and that 50% of marriages survive.

Since we’re not really taught how to effectively communicate in loving relationships, I thought to ask one particular successful couple I know, Mike and Fran. They're in their mid 30s, have a growing family of three, and have known each other since high school. “What's your secret relationship sauce? How do you keep it all together between family, home, work, and the community activities you support?”

It was pretty easy for Mike and Fran to answer. Mindful communication; purposeful connection, deep listening, gratitude offering, a desire to learn and be understood. They frequently stop to check in with each other beyond the householder duties and activities, supporting one another on an emotional level. Knowing that each day is different, curiosity versus assumption is the viewpoint they take.

Here's what they offered as some guidelines for healthy partner communication:

Set up a regular day and time (even a time everyday) where you won't be disturbed by others or feel rushed. No kids or cell phones.
Bring some flowers, a candle, or something beautiful to the setting, creating a space that is warm and inviting.
Spend a few quiet minutes just being together, letting the day go, breathing to settle into the moment. Holding hands or touching is wonderful.

Each person then takes a turn having “the floor” with uninterrupted time for the following:

The Sharer shares 2-3 things they appreciate and are grateful for about the other; remembrances of the things they did or said that week that were positive and nurturing. The Receiver receives these gifts of appreciation.
The Sharer shares one thing that was found to not feel as nurturing; perhaps an unskillful remark, action, or temperament. While we can often “let the little things go”, sometimes they fester in the background. Reconciling them with understanding has them being fully “let go”. Of importance with this sharing is that it’s communicated in a way that doesn’t instigate blame or wrongness but rather using I statements. “I felt unappreciated when your dirty clothes were all over the bedroom floor after I spent 3 hours cleaning the house.” (Note this is different than “You’re such a slob!”) The Receiver listens deeply to what is being shared without defensiveness or reactivity, trying to understand the other’s perspective.
The Sharer then requests support so that the suffering can be lessened or relieved. “It would really help me if you could put the dirty clothes in the hamper so that we can enjoy the clean house together. I know you want to honor my efforts and this would help me greatly.”
With a calm body and mind, the Receiver expresses gratitude for the sharing, curiosity if needing to learn more, and whatever they're able to support in the way of correction, understanding, or insights.
When the sharing is complete, a few words of gratitude are expressed before they switch roles.

Mike and Fran agree that this method of communication is not as easy in the beginning but, once the trusting connection is made, slights and misunderstandings become a lot less intense. They feel truly supported in their partnership. Time and energy well spent, on a regular basis, has enabled their relationship to thrive.

(This article initially appeared in Around Concord Magazine, Spring 2018 issue.)

Enjoy! Peace and Love,
Shanti

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15 Ways to Keep Those Goals Intact

Honey, Can We talk?

Author - Shanti Douglas

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