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Peace and Healing Through Conversation

1/12/2015

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     This past weekend I spent three days in a workshop learning and experimenting with Restorative Circles, a community-based process of conflict resolution that relies heavily on reflective listening. It’s a non-judgmental, non-blame way of having folks resolve issues by listening deeply, creating understanding of one another, taking responsibility, and then coming to an agreed-upon resolve. Nothing is forced or coerced and solutions are mutual, often leading to forgiveness, gratitude, or even hugs (yeah!).
     I’ve always been interested in this type of group process, following the works of Parker Palmer’s Circles of Trust, Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication or (Compassionate Communication as I prefer), Beginning Anew from my Buddhist lineage, and all the psycho-social experience and education I have. I know firsthand that creating peace begins with oneself and have worked with 100’s of folks in guiding awareness, insight, and understanding into the realms that foster this. With mindfulness as a leading practice, we learn to take responsibility for our lives and our outcomes and, importantly, do so in a non-judgmental and curious way. It’s been an important and joyful part of my work.
     When in conflict, our first response might be to blame the other person for what has been done “to me”. We feel hurt and it can be challenging to see ourselves as responsible participants in the actions that led to conflict, preferring to seek solace or justification in what “the other” has done. In it’s gentle way, Restorative Circles doesn’t remove the personal responsibility piece of conflict but, through a process of deep listening and reflective speech, participants discover their role. As they hear from the others in the conflicted community, they expand their knowledge of other’s view, ultimately creating a more complete perspective. Understanding doesn’t necessarily equate to agreement but, as all parties develop understanding of causes and conditions, barriers are reduced, allowing the creating of bonds of shared humanity.
     We all have “our stuff”; our views, private struggles, defense mechanisms. It’s much easier to drop them, to soften their impact, when we feel heard and seen. Restorative Circles is a process to support this so that everyone impacted by a hurtful situation can be heard, seen, and hopefully healed.
     “Peace and healing through conversation” was my tag line all weekend. Simple but not easy. I’m happy to explore this process further, anxious to see what shows up, and curious in how I can support deeper peace in the community.
     And next weekend I’m off to the monastery for a mostly silent retreat - another form of deep listening. Love, love, love it! More on that later so, for now, stay in peace and keep that view open.

With many blessings for peaceful days,
Shanti

Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach
Shanti@8limbsHolisticHealth.com
603.228.9007


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Happy to Have You Here

1/3/2015

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     Deep, deep gratitude to all! I want to send sincere thanks to each and every one of you for your continued support and presence with 8 limbs Holistic Health. It's been a fantastic seven years and none of it would be possible if you didn't enliven yourself, engage in mindful living, and seek to always move forward in a positive way. However we meet, I'm always excited when we have the chance to grow this community. And for those who've been with me since the start, it's been an extra special journey as we've witnessed each other change and improve. I'm looking forward to lots more connection in 2015 and hope to bring new and exciting programs of interest.
     As I take a quick snapshot of 2014, it was my most successful year with over 150 workshops, classes, and speaking engagements, sharing what I know with over 5,000 people! That's mind boggling to me and quite a switch from the person who used to get laryngitis at the prospect of speaking in front of others (it's amazing how our body cooperates with our biggest fears). I'm very lucky. And I'm excited to report that in three short weeks I'll be finishing up my two year Eden Energy Medicine program, another exciting avenue for harmonious and balanced living. It has brought a great deal of vitality to my life and I'm looking to share more of it with you in 2015.
     To start things off right, I had the honor of spending a very special time with a group of lovely beings on New Year's Eve. Snuggled in the back barn with Jasmine's roaring fire (she's my pellet stove), through meditation we gave energy to the goodness that resides in each one of us...all the ways that our heart is open, all the ways that we care for ourselves, all the gifts that we embody. Held in this cocoon of light and love, we gently brought forth our pains and sorrows; the regrets that remained unreconciled, unskillful habits that run deep. In a ceremony of peace, these hardships were released along with any states of being that we no longer wished to carry forward into the new year. To fill the void, each of us then created a representation of the feeling sense we desired to live closer to. With lots of colored markers and paper, this expressed itself in a myriad of artistry; lists, letters, wallet-size Live-By cards, and figurine drawings. We then had the opportunity to share from our heart again, making our deep desires visible and heard. One of my favorite shares was feeling "zesty" - that just makes me smile.
     And through this entire process the miracle of community arrived as everyone shared deeply from the heart, feeling safe and supported in a room where many were previously unknown to one another. The sense of shared humanity allowed all of this to unfold naturally and to bring healing on many levels. I would say it was the most nurturing and loving change-of-year celebration I've experienced yet.
     If any of this resonates - to release and renew as we move forward into the new year, or any time of year - please reach out. This process of revitalization is a support that I offer in my coaching sessions and would be honored to share in your change process.
     Again, a deep bow of gratitude and thanks to each and every one of you for the gifts of your presence and light. May all great blessings be bestowed upon you.

With many blessings for peaceful days,
Shanti

Shanti Douglas
Mindfulness & Stress Management Coach
Shanti@8limbsHolisticHealth.com
603.228.9007

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    Author - Shanti Douglas

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Shanti Douglas, Mindfulness & Lovestyle Coach       
8 limbs Holistic Health, LLC          23 Broadway St., Concord, NH  03301          603.228.9007          Shanti@8limbsHolisticHealth.com
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